The facemask, I wore it in public. I wore it because of others, yes, the facemask. That Sunday morning, I entered the church, my favorite attire put on; white shirt, a grey trouser, well-ironed, completing the official look with black glittering shoes due to the effect of shoe polish. I booked the front seat, a few steps from the anointing.
When the worship song came in my hands were lifted high as I sang along..." Your presence is heaven to me....". Wow! It felt good to worship in His presence. I prayed and was ready to surrender all, withholding nothing. My mask was on. I enjoyed the sermon, it was very powerful. As a serious Christian, I noted down some points and the verses. When the speaker mentioned some verses, I knew exactly what those verses said before being read. I recited them ensuring my neighbour could hear. I appreciated myself, at least my scripture mastery was not so bad.
Finally, the service ended and I was back to my room. I was exhausted and felt prosaic. I grabbed my phone and there I was on WhatsApp. I did not find anything interesting and so I went to the search engine and my usual site popped up. Those ladies in nudes seemed to me the epitome of beauty. "I won't look for long, I convinced myself." For some time, I kept staring at the pictures and looking for more. "No one will know, I am alone here." Those 'feel good' hormones were unleashed, I could sense that nice feeling from a distance. I needed to increase the dose for the 'nice feeling' to reach fever pitch. I clicked a brief porn video and there I was. Before you could blink twice, I was already indulging in masturbation to ease the pressing desire.
"How long will I lead such a life?" Wearing a facemask in public and pretending 'I am well in the Lord'. On Sundays, I even lead in praise and worship and went back to the real struggle moments after the occasion. It seems, the enemy waited for me to climb down the pulpit, get to my room, then there he appears. Just like Jesus, He waited till He had finished the forty days and forty nights fast, it is when he appeared, Knowing Jesus was obviously hungry, he tempts Him with food, what an evil strategy!
"I am free in Christ, whoever the Son sets free is free indeed." Yes, I remembered the many times I had confessed these statements in public but was it a personal reality? "Something has to be done. I can't stay chained in masturbation and pornography while shouting 'I am free' all over." I decided to remove the facemask and face the reality. I realized that he who conceals his sins does not prosper but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. I could hide my face from the public but I could not hide it from God. I needed help, I sought it and found it. He forgave my past and gave me the grace to say no to any form of ungodliness and worldly passions and to live a self-controlled, upright life in this present age.
Today, I am no longer a slave to sin, I am completely free in Christ. He gave me a helper, the promised Holy Spirit to help me in my weakness. He has set me free to serve Him and not to use the freedom to indulge in sin. Up to this day, I serve Him and live for Him, it's such a great joy. It all started by removing the facemask and being real with reality. You too, can.
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