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Yeah, I loved him. Do I need to explain how we fell in love? Let me spare that for another day, I hope that's okay. He was so good to me, a handsome, young, and enthusiastic guy. At first, it felt like my heart couldn't beat without him. I acted the way I felt. I was seized back and forth helplessly by my feelings. I blindly followed all that he said. The desire to keep him and the fear to lose him kept weighing on a balance in my heart and were almost at a constant equilibrium.
I defied my motherly mother just to please him. My own mum, who taught me how to eat, talk, and walk, I willingly disobeyed her in the name of love. I lied to my father, not once, not twice just because I thought I loved him. "Will he ever leave me?" Such a wild thought once crossed my mind but I dismissed it and send it away faster than it came. Ignorant of the reality, we lived a lie, we lived like the characters in the movies.
It didn't take long before I came face to face with reality. Things changed unexpectedly, I can't explain how. At first, I meant the whole world to him, soon, I meant to him a small village without water and electricity...how?
The relationship I had struggled to keep was quickly fading away and any effort to save it could only expedite its death. Did I deserve all these? This was too heavy for me to handle and even grew heavier with every recurring thought about him. "Am I so worse that I can't be loved? Am I not beautiful?" I thought of many things, I hated myself. "Is it naivety or ignorance that drew me to this direction?" I was lost in the woods wondering which path to take, was I even willing to take any path available?
Desperate, stressed, alone, and lonely, I heard about Him. They said His love is unconditional, it knows not any boundaries. He loves and accepts even the worst, leave alone the best. They said He loved me before I knew Him and He sacrificed His own son for my sake. His love does not end and He is true and sure to keep all His promises. I heard that He remains true even if every man decides to lie.
What are you talking about? It is the love of God, the precious, special, rare love; love that is beyond all knowledge. They said His arms are wide open to accept anyone who would care to come to Him however burdened he/she is. Oh my! This was too sweet to deny.
I accepted Him and invited Him into my life. Since then, I don't regret why I chose Him for He has proved faithful. Jesus, savior, friend, I have tasted of Him and I have seen that He is good, everyone who trusts in Him is blessed. I don't fear being left for He has promised to be with me to the end of ages.
Many people all over the world have believed in Him, they can tell you how fulfilling it is. The reality is that every human being needs Him though some deny this reality. God loves us not because of anything we have done, I think He loves us just because of love. This is the reality in Christ and I just decided to be real with this reality.
